It’s increasingly apparent, particularly in our politically, environmentally, and economically polarized world, how challenging it is to stay aligned with one’s true nature in the face of disagreement. Staying true to one’s nature involves remaining objective, making observations instead of judgments, being curious rather than triggered by words, actions, and beliefs, finding compassion instead of taking things personally, and communicating to connect rather than perpetuating conflict.

This difficulty was vividly illustrated during a recent workshop I led on conflict resolution, where the group unanimously recognized the effectiveness of communicating from one’s true nature in dealings with clients, coworkers, and friends. We delved into various scenarios—both professional and personal—practicing key skills such as listening, present-moment awareness, acknowledging, validating, turning someone into an ally by using strategic language like “we,” “let’s,” and “together,” and focusing on the problem being the problem, not the person. The exercises had a powerful impact, which the participants found highly enlightening.

However, the atmosphere shifted dramatically when I role-played a client expressing political views:

“The way things are now, I feel the country is going downhill. I feel frustrated and scared; I think a Donald Trump and Marjorie Taylor-Greene ticket would turn this country around for the better.”

Immediately, tension filled the room, breathing stopped, biases were triggered, and judgments filled the air. Despite my reminders that acknowledgment does not mean agreement, it took several prompts and deep breaths before the group could practice objectivity, curiosity, compassion, and connection. Finally, someone managed to respond,

“I hear you; these are challenging times. I feel worried as well.”

I reiterated that this is the work of conflict resolution— to remain open, be curious about why someone might feel that way, show compassion for their fears, and engage in a dialogue, all with the intention to connect. Earlier, the group readily agreed that this approach significantly de-escalates tension and were ready to roll with it. With the role-play putting theory into practice, they understood that laying down our self-righteousness and biases is not simple. In moments of stark disagreement, relinquishing the need to be right, to truly listen, acknowledge, and validate another’s feelings remains a substantial challenge. 

Why is it so hard to communicate with the intention to connect, especially when we disagree? This struggle is not unique to any one of us. We all find it necessary to resort to blaming, shaming, and weaponizing our knowledge and intuition at times. Understanding this shared struggle can help us feel more connected and less alone in our communication challenges.