Sabotaging one’s success

Over the years, I’ve often been asked, “How do I stop sabotaging my life?” For every person who has asked this question, I’ve asked it of myself at least a hundred times.

My usual response involves identifying the saboteur within and then applying certain practices, principles, and processes and embracing forgiveness to change the habits, beliefs, or agreements that fuel our self-sabotaging behaviors.

Common Saboteurs We Face

We often encounter familiar saboteurs such as procrastination, self-doubt, fear of failure, negative self-talk, perfectionism, avoiding difficult conversations, lack of boundaries, staying in toxic situations, clinging to the past, lack of focus and patience, and relying on external validation. Each of these issues has strategies and processes that can help us work through them.

However, there is a “secret saboteur” that many of us overlook...

One’s Own Intuition

Actually, it is not intuition per se—sabotage occurs when we link rules, rebellion, and intuition together.

Here’s what I mean…

As children, many of us were subjected to confusing, restrictive, and sometimes even abusive rules. Whether harsh or subtle, we were all told to follow certain mandates—clean your room, do your chores, complete your homework. If the directives felt onerous or abusive, we learned to sabotage the rules by rebelling against them.

For many, this “rebelling against rules” extended into adulthood, affecting how we respond to any rules—even those we set for ourselves or those stemming from our intuition. How often have you felt an intuitive nudge to do something, only to find yourself second-guessing, procrastinating, or convincing yourself it wasn’t necessary? This is essentially a rebellion against rules, including those originating from within.

When you unconsciously equate intuition with oppressive rules from childhood, you may begin to distrust and even oppose your intuition. The challenge is compounded when the rules of our youth, which might have been useful but poorly presented, become internal rules we rebel against as adults.

Your intuition has been disguised as the rules you rebel against…

Breaking the Cycle

The solution involves stopping rebelling against the rules of the past by bringing awareness to the moment of rebelling, forgiving those involved, and stop fighting the war you have already won.

Realizing that the rules you or intuition are asking of you are done out of love and opportunities for success and growth in the present moment.

I’m curious about your thoughts on this. Have you ever felt yourself rebelling against the “rules” that you know will lead to success?

Do you rebel against your intuition?

Have you noticed similar patterns in your behavior?

I am looking forward to your insights and discussions.

Join me for a deeper conversation on this topic at our next Wednesday Zoom talk.